Thinking about Entertainment and Movies

If you meet someone, and there is this really awkward silence, let me make a suggestion: talk about a recent movie that came out. It covers for a lot of socially embarrassing situations, where a mutual friend introduces you to someone, you exchange pleasantries, and then you stare at each other and smile, not knowing what to say. Eventually there is the “uh, I gotta go talk to…” and you walk off saying “Nice to meet you.” Trust me, I’ve used this fool-proof strategy many times. Chances are, you have found common ground because EVERYONE likes watching movies. Plus, who in their right mind covers awkward moments by saying, “So, tell me about your sin?” Well, I can name like two people in my life who have done that, one is now a very close friend, the other was my middle school basketball coach at Covenant Life and had an influence on my life. I’m just saying…if you want surface relationships that don’t mean anything, if you want to talk about something completely frivolous without doing any hard work, if you are completely content with your friendships and don’t want any new ones, this is the perfect strategy. “So, have you seen (insert movie here) yet?” is bound to make for at least a 10 minute conversation. Then, the social duty done, you can leave the conversation patting yourself on the back for yet again reaching out to someone new.

This idea of entertainment is age old. The gladiators killed each other to the delight of roaring crowds. The Olympics have been a part of the Greek culture since it began, leading into our modern day obsession with star athletes. Christians were burned alive, called “human candles” to crowds that soon became very bored and demanded that they be killed by a lion, so at least they could see some action. The idea of “theatre” has been around a very long time, too. Ever heard of Shakespeare? He was a genius, and crowds flocked to his plays to watch daring swordfights, crazy madmen, romantic comedies, and every type of modern day genres you can think of. Nothing about the entertainment industry today, particularly movies, can be called original, except that we watch it more on digital screens than real life.

We are an entertainment driven culture. Everyone listens to music, yet doesn’t want to take the time to learn their own instrument. Everyone watches movies, yet doesn’t want to take the time to read a book. Everyone goes to theme parks, yet doesn’t take the time to study their homework. Everyone texts, has a Facebook, a Myspace, or Twitters, yet doesn’t want to invest in true biblical fellowship. As Jessica mentioned in the last post, God created us to be fully satisfied by Himself. Are these things lending themselves to drawing us closer to God? Which do you think does this more; a movie with Zac Effron, or a book by John Piper?

“Wait, Janelle. Are you saying that I can’t go and see a movie just for the sheer frivolity of seeing a movie? What’s wrong with being entertained?” If you are asking this question, you should ask yourself if you are looking for a way out. Obviously I will say that nothing is wrong with that. I am simply challenging the idea that, as young adults, we have to be constantly entertained. We ARE constantly entertained, and without much brain-power going into it. Listening to a bland country song about fried chicken is not wrong, but it also doesn’t stimulate your mind or draw you closer to God.

This is a challenge. On one hand, there are some pretty amazing movies out there that have really effected me. Movies like Amistad or Amazing Grace have instilled in me a hatred of slavery and an admiration for those who stood against it (side note: any reference I make to something I have seen is not necessarily a recommendation to go and see it!) Other movies like Defiance or A Beautiful Life have affected me regarding the injustice of racial or religious intolerance. Yet others like Mississippi Burning or The Long Walk Home cause me to be thankful that my kids won’t grow up being taught that they are somehow superior or better than others because they were born a certain skin color.

On the other hand, there are some movies that have absolutely no value to them. I watched Nacho Libre and laughed my head off, but was there any value to the two hours I spent looking at Jack Black being hilarious? How about movies that are provocative, or have a lot of language…you get what I’m saying.

I must say I’m not a very good example in this area. Far too often I choose a movie over what is important, like getting homework done or spending time with my family. So here is my challenge; next time you are bored, pick up a book instead of a DVD. Next time a movie comes out that looks really awesome, screen it before you see it. And if it doesn’t look edifying…don’t go see it! Or, at least wait until you can rent it and see it with your mom and dad. Next time your friends ask what you want to do tonight, suggest putt-putt or bowling. You might find that your friendships take on a new facet, or that your parents start complimenting you on how you are growing in your relationships with people, and not your knowledge on who is acting in what movie.

--Janelle

Thinking Biblically About the Internet - 2.0 Brains and a Relational God

This may be a strange way to begin this post, but eventually you’ll see where I’m going. I want to begin by talking about the female brain—in particular, the teenage female brain. Everyone knows that guys and girls tend to experience puberty differently—dah. But often we are unaware of the scientific realities behind these differences. Without facts, it becomes easy to simply stereotype or generalize, in which case mistakes and myths easily flair up. This is why I enjoy research—I like to find the truth behind the myths.

Anyway! One of the most recent books that my research has unearthed is The Female Brain by Dr. Louanna Brizendine. In it she explains all sorts of biological phenomena which define what makes us feminine, specifically neurologically and hormonally, and what that looks like in day-to-day life. In her first chapter she explains why, according to the most up-to-date research, there are less women pursuing careers in mathematics and science. It is not because of a lack of aptitude in these areas; rather, it is because of the hormonal changes that occur in puberty. During the high school years, when men and women begin to choose their career paths, the female brain is flooded with estrogen in such a way that its emotional and communication circuits grow, creating a strong desire for human interaction. On the other hand, male brains, during puberty, are flooded with testosterone, causing them to become less communicative and more interested in scoring points. Thus, secluding themselves in order to drill away at formulas becomes more difficult for women during this time, but easier for men. Both sexes are completely able to perform the task, but women are less inclined to have a desire to do so (Brizendine 7–8). Thus, women usually end up choosing professions which will facilitate more human interaction, while men have no problem thriving in less social environments. Similar hormonal processes occur in post-puberty/young adulthood, reinforcing these patterns.

What does any of this have to do with thinking Biblically about the internet? In our generation, the internet has been transformed by the invention of web 2.0, that is, by internet that is no longer “read-only,” but based on user participation and connection. Examples of web 2.0 include social-networking sites, video-sharing sites, wikis, blogs, mashups, folksonomies, and world-wide gaming like WOW. In other words, while the computer was originally no more than a gigantic calculator, processing numbers and formulas, now the computer and the internet is a portable gateway into an endless world of interpersonal communication—a woman’s paradise! I told you I’d get to the point :).

There are so many fun and fantastic features of the internet which women can enjoy. This blog, I hope, is a good example. It’s great to catch up with old friends, to stay in the loop with current social events, to chat with people you don’t get to see very often—even to send out mass prayer requests or scripture versus for encouragement. I personally love to look at and comment on my friends’ pictures. So there are a lot of great things we can do with the internet. And, we should also be aware that because our flesh is ever present and because our Enemy desires to use every opportunity to ensnare and harm us, there are also many common temptations and dangers with regard to the internet—specifically as women. In my opinion, and from personal experience, I believe that most of these temptations stem out of our good, but ever pervasive love for relationship.

Since the invention of IM, teenage women have been notorious for making some pretty serious mistakes on the internet. We’ve all heard the bed-time horror stories of what comes of giving your address to strangers. A more recent phenomena has been Myspace. Even college students were shocked when they first saw some of the things that younger girls were posting on their profiles—didn’t they realize how dangerous such behavior was? Yet who hasn’t experienced the temptation to post something a little too risky on their profile? Who hasn’t gone through the mental gymnastics of calculating who would see it, when, and how? It is a common temptation. On a more innocent level, who hasn’t simply desired to post details of their daily life through their status, hoping that a certain someone would care about how they were doing. Wow, we ladies some serious thinkers! You probably know what it’s like to log onto a chatting forum, just to see who’s there to talk to—maybe just to see if someone specific is there to talk to. Dr. Brizendine also explains in her book how during puberty, hormones increase a woman’s sexual drive. So in addition to looking for communication in general, we also desire someone to notice and admire us sexually. Wow, so many desires and cravings! Add to those cravings a sinful nature which does not always fear God or reverence the wisdom we’ve been given. No wonder we feel like we’re going crazy sometimes. No wonder the internet can become a mine-field of temptation many days.

The most important thing to remember as we think through all of this, though, is the fact that as women, GOD made us the way that we are. He created our bodies and our brains to function the way that they do—he made us relational; he gave us the desire to be loved; and he created the process of adolescent development. He also created us to be completely fulfilled and satisfied in Him, which means that no person, no event, no relationship, no conversation, no chatting and no networking can ever fulfill us to the point that we will be happy. Only He can. The root of sin is the lie that it something besides God can fulfill us.

Who can identify with this scenario: You’ve just spent hours on the internet, it’s late, you didn’t finish the work you were planning on accomplishing, and you feel like crap; yet for some reason, you still feel as if staying on the computer for a few more minutes just might make you happy. What is with that!? I’ll be honest—I’ve experienced this downfall a hundred times. By God’s grace I’ve come to realize that the reason I behave this way is because I’m so craving social interaction, so craving relationship, that I’m willing to search for it, even through a digital flat-screen. And yet, the truth is that the only place I will find deep and fulfilling relationship won’t be through people—digital or not—but in Jesus, my best friend, and my Father God. His love for me, his interest in my life, his care for my emotions, his desire to make me truly happy, are genuine and powerful. His ability to fill up every corner of my gasping heart with his Spirit is the salvation of my soul. Jesus died for my idolatry and sin, and he did it so that I could enjoy and benefit from an uninhibited, eternal relationship with Him. Remember what Jesus said?

“Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” John 17:1-3

Guys, that’s what it all comes down to. Life. In him we live, and breath, and have our being. Jesus experienced death and separation from God so that we could be fully united to him in eternal life. Jesus has grafted us into him, so that we now dwell in him and are made one with him as we relate to him.

So, when we’re on the internet, let’s have a blast enjoying all the ways that we can indulge in and enjoy our friendships. Let’s laugh and smile and be goofy, coating everything with love and encouragement and wisdom. But let’s make sure that we never look to the internet for the fulfillment of our deepest desires, or hope in people to fulfill our need for relationship. When we’re tempted to log-on to a site because we feel lonely, sad, attention hungry, or hurt, let’s make a commitment to stop and look to our Father first: to wait for Him, to pray to Him, to make our requests known to Him believing for His gracious answer, to read His word, to simply enjoy His company and rest in His Love. Then, once we have done that, let’s pursue our friendships with people. People can even help us to seek out and become more satisfied in God; those are the best kinds of friendships—and hey, who said we couldn’t have them over facebook? :)

~Jess

Works Cited

Brizendine, Louann. The Female Brain. New York: Broadway Books, 2006.

Flirting is Fun, Godly Conduct is Hard

You've been invited to a party, and you get a call from your best friend that he is going to be there. This completely changes everything, from what you are going to wear to how you do your hair, to what perfume you are going to put on. He seems to like green, so you put that on. You overheard a conversation he had that he thought girls who wore skirts were pretty and feminine, so you put on a skirt.

At the party, you nonchalantly look around, zero in on him and make sure no girls are talking to him. Good, he's with his guy friends. You quickly scan the crowd and see what the other girls are dressed like...do they look better than you? Anyone wearing green? Anyone wearing a skirt? Good, no one is. You don't want to seem too eager to talk to him so you wait and mosey over to the snack table. No, wait, no snacks because it might make you look less attractive. Everyone knows that eating and talking to a guy is a social flaw.

You do eventually make your way over and strike up a conversation about...well, you can't really remember what it was about, but throughout the evening you do what you can to hang out with him and get his attention. After the night is over, you leave, making sure to tell him goodbye and that it was nice hanging out with him. In the car, you look at your best friend and suddenly you are both talking about the evening and "how it went" and every little gesture and glance that was passed between you and him.

Sound familiar? Can you see how childish this looks? An entire night devoted to one guy; one guy who will probably not end up being your husband. In fact, he might end up being the husband of one of the other girls in the room that you were comparing yourself to. All that time and energy for nothing...flirting, giggling, acting a part, paranoid about who else he might be giving his attention to, hoping that he likes how you look...the list goes on.

I set this scenario up to make this point: ladies, it is completely and entirely possible to be a friend to a guy without flirting. It is quite possible that we can be attracted to a guy and not flirt with him. Not only is biblical friendship possible, but attainable with any godly guy whether we are attracted to him or not.

Chances are, if we are flirting with someone we like you are flirting with someone we don't like, too. When it becomes a part of our interaction with one guy, it bleeds itself into you relationships with other guys. We might not “like” Steve, but we unconsciously flirt with him because it has become a part of who we are. No one wants that type of reputation! When we leave that party, what influence are we leaving behind? One where our guy friends are uplifted and drawn to Christ, or one where they are remembering how we looked and acted? Which is more beneficial for us and them in the long run?

This is simple common sense. Flirting is fun, but fleeting. Godly conduct is hard, but lasting. When we are in heaven, what will we remember from here on earth? That we flitted around from one social gathering to the next having fun, or that we were purposeful in pointing people to Christ? I'm not saying that every conversation has to be about the Bible, God, or Jesus and if its not than we are doomed. What I am saying is that fruitful conversation with a guy who is not our husband does NOT involve flirting. Yes, you read that right. Until we are in a permanent relationship, flirting has no value except to get ourselves attention when we shouldn't be seeking attention. The single season we are in now should be dedicated to Christ and Him alone. Giving our heart to a guy prematurely is completely setting ourselves up for it to be broken. Please, let’s save ourselves the heartache. We don't want to be in that place, especially one of our own making.

Thinking this way is for all of us. Whether we are in high school, college or working. Whether the guy is in the church, at school or in the workplace. If we are talking to "that guy", and see him as another woman's future husband, our conduct should change. If it doesn't, we need to ask yourselves some serious, soul searching questions. What's to stop us, then, from flirting with a guy who is actually married? Or us from flirting when we are married? Scary, isn't it? But if we don't ask ourselves this, if we don't seek God's help, if we don't care because we just "want to have fun", then we most likely will struggle with the same thing even when we are married, because we don't magically change when that ring is on our finger. Lasting change comes from God. When our heart is changed, our conduct will change.

If, as single women, we can learn this lesson now, before we are married, we will save ourselves a lot of heartache and struggle after we actually are married. If it's a godly husband we want, chances are he will be more attracted to us if we don't flirt with him than if we do. This aside, our motivation for change must be to please God. To be God-pleasing, we must put off man-pleasing. If God is our primary focus, flirting won't be as much of a struggle because we realize that, ultimately, our satisfaction is in Him alone, and cannot be found in the attention of men.

--Janelle

Springs of Life: Guarding Our Hearts in Relationships with Guys

>Most of us have heard the phrase, “guard your heart,” often in relation to our feelings towards guys. But what does that even mean? And what does it look like, on a practical level? To answer these questions we have to understand what the heart is, and how it works. Welcome to Spiritual Anatomy 1101. We’ll start with this scripture:

“Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23

So, what is this verse saying? In the Bible, the word לב, or “leb,” which we translate “heart” means the core or seat of our will, thoughts, emotions, and desires—it is the treasure chest which holds our dearest possessions and the headquarters from which all decisions and actions are executed. Our hearts choose and treasure what to love and desire, and our actions flow from these desires. So our hearts are the springs of life because life and death depend upon what we choose to love. It is for this reason that we must keep watch over our hearts, and guard them as the source of our existence. As women, much of our life depends on our choices about which men we allow our hearts to love, which ones we set our hopes on and follow and in what way, who we allow in and out of its doors.

So then, how can we “guard” our hearts? What does the verse mean when it tells us to “keep [our hearts] with all vigilance”? The Bible tells us two ways to keep a healthy heart. Like our actual, physical hearts which must both pump blood in and pump blood out in order to sustain life, our spiritual hearts will be healthy only if we learn to surrender our desires to God, and fill our hearts with love for him. So lets talk about each of these functions.

1) Surrendering the desires of our hearts to God:

God created us to love, to passionately desire good things. But as Julie brought up last week, as fallen creatures, we don’t always desire what is good for us, or we often desire to have good things at the wrong time. As this relates to guys, women are naturally created by God to desire an emotional and physical relationship with a male counterpart. Additionally, we have a basic need for general male interaction to balance our chemical and spiritual existence. Sometimes, those desires will not be fulfilled, and other times we may desire to fulfill them in inappropriate ways. In either situation, as guardians of our hearts, we have one task: to take those desires captive to God.

“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We . . . take every thought captive to obey Christ. . . .” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5.

This is an encouraging verse, because it reminds us that a) we are proclaimed victors in Christ, able to fight the battle for our hearts through spiritual means, b) It doesn’t say the we can’t have tempting thoughts, but instead that every thought should be consciously captured, examined and brought before Jesus for his verdict to declare the place of that thought in our lives—how it is to obey his good will.

So maybe there is a guy you know who captures your attention, someone you wish you could know more intimately. First of all, I’d like to say: welcome to humanity! You are completely normal and we can all relate. Having said that, there are a couple things you should know. First, I promise, this will not be the last guy who you are interested in—there will be many more, so keep things in perspective. Second, figuring out if this is or is not the person that you are suppose to marry will not help you decide how to think about or act around this person, so don’t strive to. Third, while there is no sin in being attracted to someone, and it is often outside of your control, what you do with that attraction will make all the difference in your spiritual life.

If a stranger walked into your house, you wouldn’t just tell them to make themselves at home, eat whatever they liked and lay around wherever they wanted. No! You’d ask who they were, discover their purpose for being there, and depending on that, would decide how they would be able to operate in your home. In the same way, when thoughts pop into our heads: “He is really handsome,” “I wonder if he has a girl friend,” “I wonder what it would be like to be married to him,” “I wonder if he is my future husband,” “I wonder if he notices me,” “I wonder if he will be at the party this weekend,” –we don’t just let them have free reign in our hearts and minds. We take note of those thoughts, and the desires which attend them, and say, “alright, that’s how it is; now come with me,” and lead them before the throne of our Father, asking, “Lord, what shall I do with this?”

Usually, our Father tells us to simply give the thought/desire to him; the Bible tells us that if we have any desire that we should “make our requests known to God”, who “withholds no good thing” from his children who ask (Philippians 4:6-7, Psalm 86:11, see also Mark 11:24, Ps 37:4, and James 4). This means that if what you ask for is good, God will grant it at the right time, and if it is not good, you don’t have to worry, because your Father is wise and he will not give it to you—therefore there is no fear in asking, but instead much peace, as long as you trust him to orchestrate what is good for you. Sometimes when we bring a thought/desire before God, he tells us to kill it. We must be willing to do what he asks, knowing that He will help us.

Now I do want to throw out a quick word of balance: It is important to remember that being attracted to someone, having these thoughts come to mind, and desiring to be married are not necessarily unhealthy in and of themselves. On the contrary, it is absolutely natural and good to desire marriage and even to feel attraction to worthy men. It is very important that we not battle with guilt or condemnation for these things, because if we do, Satan is only distracting us from the real battle. These thoughts and desires will come. It is inevitable. Even as we take these thoughts to Christ on a daily basis, they will continue to come—they do not ever simply disappear, so we cannot be discouraged when this happens, or think that until these thoughts go away that there is something wrong. If this were the case we would all be in big trouble J. The goal is not to eliminate these thoughts, but to learn to deal wisely with them. Wisdom is sober minded—it recognizes that there is no profit in fantasizing about things that do not exist, and that fostering a desire which may not be fulfilled will only make the heart sick. Instead, wisdom acknowledges the existence of certain thoughts and desire, and then continues in her course of seeking Jesus and his love above all else, by presenting her desires to God in prayer, or in simply telling herself not to worry about that and to think about something else that is beneficial in the moment.

And remember: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.”
1 Corinthians 9:13

God will always provide a way of escape for us. We cannot serve two masters—we must refuse to be controlled by anything but the God’s love, but we can take comfort in knowing that if we ask God for any fruit of the Spirit, faithfulness, self-control, wisdom, that he promises to give it. This leads to the second part of how to keep a healthy heart.

2) Being filled with the Spirit of God and his Love always:

Simply trying to empty your mind of unhelpful thoughts will absolutely not succeed, unless you fill your mind with thoughts of the beautiful:

“[W]hatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philipians 4:8

Find ways to dwell on things that are pure in your heart. Remember—where light is, there can be no darkness. Where you are dwelling on that which is lovely and good, impure thoughts will not be able to slip in unnoticed or thrive.

“[We] walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:4-6

Sometimes as women, our hearts are stirred and we desire to dwell on romance, and love, and the beauty of a man’s desire for a woman and visa versa. One thing that has really helped me when I’m in those moods is to think about the epic Romance of God’s love for us. I imagine Jesus as the warrior who swears to find and fight for the one whom he has betrothed. I imagine the brutal death which he endured for the sake of his bride, and the moment when he arose in light from the tomb, victorious over those who had tried to hold him captive in order to abuse his bride, only to receive his retribution instead. I remember his promise to come and save us, his passion to fight for us, his power to heal us, his kingdom where he will dwell with us forever. After all, it is that story which inspires all of ours. Every romance ever written is a mere candle lit from the lightning bolt of God’s passion for us. By dwelling on these things we make perfect our desires for romance and find satisfaction in the one and only true source of love. In this way, we guard the well spring of life.

Remember, God is able to write the perfect love story for you, so leave it to the Great author to do so, and give yourself wholly to “him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20). Dedicate yourself to good works, and to worship and fellowship of believers, and be joyful always—this is the best guard available for the fortress of your heart and the best medicine too.

I’ll end with this final thought:

“Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.
Ponder the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.
Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil.” Proverbs 4:25-27

~Jessica Chamaline